If you thought the likes of "Cliffhanger" and "Armageddon" were cheesy you've never seen "Sub Zero" because this is a movie, in fairness a TV movie, which takes cheese to a whole new level. I mentioned "Cliffhanger" and "Armageddon" for a reason because "Sub Zero" is basically a TV movie which seems to imitate them, well them and a whole bunch of over the top action movies with a storyline which features an expert mountain climber putting a team together to climb K2 in order to retrieve a military object which has the potential to destroy the world. The imitation goes from an opening scene which mirrors that of "Cliffhanger" through to corny macho BS dialogue which makes that in "Armageddon" sound like Shakespeare. Simply "Sub Zero" bad and sadly not the sort of bad which ends up being good with the only thing which really impresses being the snowy mountains in British Columbia which take the place of K2.

Following the death of a fellow climber whilst on a rescue mission, John Deckert (Costas Mandylor - Virtuosity) has moved on to a new career as a cop but finds himself asked by the US Government to put a climbing team together for an urgent mission. The mission is to climb K2 and retrieve a Russian Military device which has ended up there when terrorists stole it and in shooting them out of the sky the device ended up on a high peak. But it's not all straight forwards as time is ticking down and unless they deactivate it in time it is going to trigger mass destruction as it controls military satellites.

Right from the opening scenes "Sub Zero" sets its mark as it pretty much imitates the opening of "Cliffhanger" where we have trouble and death on the mountains where one climber's girlfriend dies and another climber, John Deckert feels responsible for it. This is sadly not good imitation and is so cheesy with a blend of poor effects and dire dialogue that the temptation to switch off is very strong. And it doesn't get any better as we then have terrorists stealing this military device, a device which looks like a flashing Rubik's cube, which not only can cause satellites to fire their lasers down at the earth but due to a plane crash ends up on the highest peak of K2.

So with that set up we then get the even more cliche part of Deckert being asked to put a team together to climb K2 and retrieve this device before it is too late, yes there are only so many hours to go before this device causes mass destruction. And of course this not only leads to Deckert facing Solomon who not only blamed him for the death of his girlfriend but has taken to living in a monastery near K2 but we also get some dubious Russian scientists joining the climb. Basically "Sub Zero" is one movie cliche after another and it's not intelligent to try and make fun of them instead of playing it all very straight and coming across as cheesy for doing so.

If the storyline wasn't bad enough I am sad to say the direction is no better Jim Wynorski fails to deliver anything close to excitement. It doesn't help that for most of the story there is very little climbing action, basically showing up for the last 20 minutes or so and when it does arrive it's not that great. And when it comes to the mystery surrounding the two Russian scientists and one of the climbers dieing before they even start well that's not exciting either. But worst of all is that with the clock ticking down, and it seems that time has no relation to reality in "Sub Zero", not once does it feel like things are getting more desperate.

Now there is a chance that if you watch "Sub Zero" it is because you spotted that it stars Costas Mandylor, he of the "Saw" movies fame, because whilst the rest of the cast have been in a variety of TV and Movie shows it is Mandylor who is the most recognizable. Recognizable doesn't mean it's actually a good performance as Mandylor along with the rest of the cast deliver over the top performances which are for the most forgettable. Of course they are not helped by the fact that every character is a cliche from the smoking hot adrenalin junkie Kelli Paris through to sexy Russian Sasha Mirov. And with all the corny dialogue that they get it often becomes painful, simply painful.

What this all boils down to is that "Sub Zero" is a bad movie and is not even so bad that it becomes entertaining. Other than the stunning snowy mountains of British Columbia there is nothing positive to say but a whole lot of negatives from being more than cheesy through to making "Cliffhanger" feel like Oscar material.