Attack of the Sabretooth (2005) starring Robert Carradine, Nicholas Bell, Brian Wimmer, Stacy Haiduk, Rawiri Paratene, Susanne Sutchy, Cleopatra Coleman, Amanda Stephens directed by George Miller Movie Review

Attack of the Sabretooth (2005)   2/52/52/52/52/5

Robert Carradine in Attack of the Sabretooth (2005)

Moronic Park

On a Fijian Island is the Valalola Resort Primal Park, a fabulous new hotel and zoo attraction which thanks to science and DNA found in fossils have managed to genetically reproduce Sabretooth tigers. It's the opening weekend and Manager Niles (Nicholas Bell) is trying to impress investor Grant (Robert Carradine) but is unaware that someone has planted a virus on the park's computer system. When the systems crash and the power goes out it leaves everyone including a group of students at risk from the prehistoric Sabretooth tigers.

I guess I get some sort of perverse pleasure from watching bad movies as I even seek them out even after reading slamming critiques. It is why I wanted to watch "Attack of the Sabretooth" because it was clear even before starting to watch that not only would this be a bad movie but a "Jurassic Park" rip off at the same time. And to behonest "Attack of the Sabretooth" was everything I expected from ripping off "Jurassic Park" to poor acting and even worse special effects but yet that leaves me in a quandary because it is genuinely a bad movie yet I found it so entertaining.

Stacy Haiduk in Attack of the Sabretooth (2005)

So as I said "Attack of the Sabretooth" is just a "Jurassic Park" rip-off so the storyline itself doesn't need much explaining and that means it becomes about three things; the acting, the special effects and the horror. The acting, well whilst we have Robert Carradine every performance is scarily over the top with the actors awkwardly trying to be realistic whilst spitting out some incredibly bad dialogue or in some cases as in Carradine intentionally going beyond over the top. Then there are the special effects from an obviously wound from a guard being attacked by a wild animal to the fake CGI and unrealistic model work when it comes to the Sabretooth tigers. All of which is laughable in that so bad it is good sort of way.

That leaves me the horror and to be honest the most horrifying thing is that this movie got made in the first place. But as to the actual horror well it completely lacks suspense and atmosphere which means when the animals do attack you have no edge of your seat anticipation.

What this all boils down to is that "Attack of the Sabretooth" is simply terrible and completely without merit. But if you are one of those people who enjoy watching bad movies this will float your boat.