It's not often that a movie left me dumbfounded but "I Know Who Killed Me" managed that rare achievement. Here is a movie which is so bad that it goes past the so bad it's good phase to the so bad can I have my money back phase. I honestly don't know what the intention was in this movie which as times feels like it is trying to be a horror spoof yet then throws in torture porn more gruesome than a "Saw" movie and then the torture of some of the worst movie exotic dancing I have ever seen. And to add to this I thought at 105 minutes this movie would skip along yet less than 45 minutes in and it felt like I had already been watching for more than 2 hours.
With one student already being found murdered Aubrey Fleming's (Lindsay Lohan - Just My Luck) hometown is already on edge and when one Friday night Aubrey disappears they all fear the worst. Two weeks later Aubrey is found, unconscious, dirty and having had various parts of her body mutilated but when she comes around in the hospital she is convinced she is an erotic dancer called Dakota Moss. With everyone thinking that Dakota is Aubrey and is blocking out the trauma Dakota must try and unravel what has happened and why to prove to everyone that she is who she is and not Aubrey.
I am still struggling for words because I don't know how anyone could come up with a movie like "I Know Who Killed Me". First up we have incredible unsubtlety, in "The Sixth Sense" there was clever use of the colour red, here the use of blue is so in your face it is ridiculous. Just as ridiculous is the way this storyline plays out with twists picked out of thin air in order to try and keep the audience intrigued when in truth the intrigue has long vanished. And the reason why it's vanished is because basically we just have various cliches strung together which don't go together but in being so many contribute to why this movie feels like it never ends. Oh and if I was being really honest the far fetched cliches they pick seem to draw from some of the worst TV movies I have watched.
I am not finished yet because visually it is eclectic with what is some of the worst erotic/ pole dancing I have ever seen in a movie. But that is nothing compared to the torture porn on show and lets just say a scene featuring a hand and two blocks of dry ice is disgusting, intentionally so but wrong. Oh and just for good measure we have the variety of scenes which just don't fit, a cheesy scene featuring a shirtless gardener stroking a branch is terrible, I suppose it was meant to be funny but isn't in the slightest. And that brings me to the fact that "I Know Who Killed Me" goes beyond being entertainingly bad too the point of being painfully bad.
Now I am being unfair because a knock on effect of everything which is simply wrong the acting doesn't seem half bad and in fact some of the recognizable faces turn impressive performances compared to the actual movie. And in fairness "I Know Who Killed Me" does not look like a cheap movie, it doesn't look mega expensive but some money has been spent on the production which is one good thing.
What this all boils down to is that "I Know Who Killed Me" is a bad movie, a movie which goes beyond the point of being entertainingly bad and hits the point of being painful. There is no reason to watch this and if you have been told that this is the movie which sees Lindsay Lohan pole dance you are going to be disappointed because it certainly isn't erotic.