My Bloody Valentine (2009) starring Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, Kerr Smith Movie Review

My Bloody Valentine (2009)   3/53/53/53/53/5

My Bloody Valentine (2009)

Tricks of the Mine

It was over ten years ago that an incident down the Hanniger coal mine in Harmony lead to five deaths and Harry Warden, the only survivor, spending an entire year in a coma until a year later on Valentine's day he came to and went on a killing spree murdering 22 with a pickaxe. Now Tom Hanniger (Jensen Ackles) returns to Harmony with the plan of selling the mine having inherited it after his father's recent death. But Tom's return stirs up emotions as some don't want the mine sold as it will mean it will be closed done whilst Tom runs into former girlfriend Sarah (Jaime King) who is now married to Axel (Kerr Smith) the town's sheriff who is cheating on her with a member of her staff. But that is not the only thing which is stirred up as Tom's return coincides with a series of murders by a mask wearing mad man with a pickaxe just like Harry 10 years earlier.

"My Bloody Valentine" maybe a 3D remake of the 1981 horror of the same name but in truth it is a basic horror for a youthful audience who will enjoy the lashings of gore, the effect of things seeming to fly through the air at them including body parts as well as for horny young boys an extended scene of a woman running around completely naked. In fact that scene comes after we have had plenty of in your face horror including a spade slicing a woman's head in two on the horizontal and it makes you wonder how far it will go when you have a naked woman and a killer with a pickaxe.

Now for the most part "My Bloody Valentine" is about the graphic nature, the horror of someone getting their chest ripped out with a pickaxe and the nudity. But "My Bloody Valentine" is also what I call a grown up "Scooby Doo" as we have a masked man committing crimes, an old mine, some older characters and someone trying to get to the bottom of it. It means you watch waiting for the end when the mask is ripped off and we realise it is old man Jones or the creepy caretaker or do we? In a way think "Scream" and you should get the idea of what "My Bloody Valentine" is just with none of the self awareness.

What this all boils down to is that "My Bloody Valentine" doesn't really offer anything new but it offers up plenty of what we have seen before which is in your face graphic horror. For a Friday night in with a beer and pizza it is okay but it offers up little which is memorable or will make you want to watch it again.